Trying something new can bring playfulness and curiosity into a long-term relationship. However, being adventurous does not require extreme flexibility, uncomfortable acrobatics or taking risks in public.
For many couples, a meaningful change can be as simple as adjusting the angle of a familiar position, moving to a different part of a private room, using pillows for support or allowing one partner to guide the pace more deliberately.
The most satisfying option is not necessarily the most visually impressive. It is one that both partners choose freely, find physically comfortable and can stop or adjust without embarrassment.
What Makes a Position Feel Adventurous?
“Adventurous” is personal. One couple may want to experiment with an unfamiliar position, while another may find it exciting simply to slow down, change who takes the lead or introduce a suitable sex toys.
Novelty can come from:
- Changing position or body angle
- Moving from the bed to a safe, private location in the home
- Introducing cushions or supportive furniture
- Trying a different pace
- Changing which partner controls movement
- Adding affectionate touch or massage
- Using a body-safe toy
- Sharing preferences more openly
- Focusing on connection instead of reaching orgasm quickly
A new experience should feel interesting—not frightening, painful or compulsory.
Talk Before Trying Something New
A conversation beforehand reduces uncertainty and gives both people an opportunity to establish limits.
Useful questions include:
- Is there anything you would like to try?
- Are there activities you definitely do not want?
- Do you have pain, stiffness or an old injury to consider?
- Would you prefer to lead or follow?
- How should we communicate if something becomes uncomfortable?
- Are condoms, contraception or other barriers needed?
- Are we both comfortable using a toy?
- What would make the experience feel emotionally safe?
Consent to explore does not mean agreeing to every suggestion. Either partner may pause, modify or stop an activity at any time.
A hesitant response should not be treated as a challenge to overcome. Genuine enthusiasm is a better foundation for experimentation than reluctant agreement.
Six Approachable Positions to Explore
Bodies differ in height, mobility, strength and sensitivity. The following ideas are starting points rather than instructions that must be followed exactly.
1. Side-by-Side Position
Both partners lie on their sides, either facing each other or with one positioned behind the other.
This arrangement can feel intimate while requiring relatively little weight-bearing. It also allows partners to remain close and communicate easily.
It may be suitable when:
- Either person becomes tired easily
- A slower pace is preferred
- Knees or wrists need less pressure
- Partners want more affectionate contact
- Pregnancy or body size makes other positions uncomfortable
Pillows placed between or beneath the knees may improve alignment. If either person experiences hip or pelvic discomfort, change the angle or move to another position.
2. Seated Embrace
One partner sits securely on a stable bed or sturdy, armless chair while the other sits facing them.
The upright arrangement allows close contact and makes it easier to communicate through facial expressions. Depending on the activity, the partner on top may have greater control over depth, pressure and pace.
Before beginning:
- Confirm that the furniture cannot slide or tip
- Avoid chairs with wheels
- Keep the surrounding floor clear
- Check that both partners can reposition safely
- Use back support if needed
Do not rely on lightweight tables, unstable stools or furniture not designed to hold the combined weight of two adults.
3. Supported Edge-of-Bed Position
One partner lies comfortably near the edge of a bed while the other remains beside it in a stable kneeling or standing position.
This can provide a different angle without requiring both people to balance in a complicated arrangement. Pillows may be used to support the back, hips or knees.
The bed should be high enough to prevent excessive bending. Stop if either partner experiences strain in the lower back, hips or knees.
4. Pillow-Supported Familiar Position
A supportive cushion placed beneath the hips, back or knees can alter the angle of a familiar face-to-face or rear-facing position.
This is often a more practical form of experimentation than attempting an entirely new pose. Small changes may affect comfort, closeness and stimulation significantly.
Use a firm pillow or purpose-designed positioning cushion that does not collapse unexpectedly. Avoid stacking several loose pillows, which can cause unstable movement or place the spine in an awkward position.
5. Partner-Led Position
One partner assumes a position in which they can more easily control movement, pace or pressure.
The physical arrangement matters less than the change in control. Allowing the partner receiving more pressure or penetration to guide movement can make experimentation feel safer and more comfortable.
This approach can be especially useful when:
- Sensitivity varies from one occasion to another
- A partner is concerned about discomfort
- Previous experiences have felt too fast
- The couple wants to communicate more deliberately
Control should remain flexible. Either person can request a pause or adjustment.
6. Carefully Supported Standing Position
Standing arrangements can feel spontaneous, but they require more strength and balance than they initially appear to.
A safer variation keeps both partners’ feet supported by the floor and uses a stable wall for balance. Avoid lifting or suspending a partner unless the person providing support has adequate strength and both partners understand the risk of falling.
Standing positions may be unsuitable for anyone with:
- Balance difficulties
- Dizziness
- Knee, hip or back problems
- Recent surgery
- Significant differences in height
- Limited strength or mobility
A position does not need to be completed simply because it was attempted. Laughing, changing plans and returning to something comfortable are all normal.
Comfort Matters More Than Flexibility
Images online may make complicated positions look effortless. They rarely show the preparation, repeated attempts, editing or discomfort that may occur outside the frame.
Do not force a joint beyond its comfortable range. Warning signs include:
- Sharp or sudden pain
- Numbness or tingling
- Muscle cramping
- Joint instability
- Dizziness
- Shortness of breath
- Unexpected bleeding
- Persistent pelvic discomfort
Stop immediately when pain occurs. Mild muscular effort may accompany an unfamiliar position, but pain should not be treated as proof that the position is working.
Persistent pain during or after sexual activity warrants medical assessment.
Use Lubrication When Appropriate
Adequate lubrication can reduce friction and make certain activities more comfortable. Natural lubrication varies with hormones, medication, stress, arousal and life stage; it is not a reliable measure of attraction or consent.
Choose a lubricant that is compatible with any condom or toy being used. The CDC advises using water-based lubricant with latex condoms, as oil-based products can weaken latex and increase the likelihood of breakage.
Apply more lubricant when needed rather than attempting to continue through friction or discomfort. If burning or irritation develops, stop and check the product’s ingredients.
Introducing a Sex Toy
A toy can add variety without requiring a difficult position. It may be used individually, incorporated into partnered activity or explored without penetration.
Before purchasing one, consider:
- What type of sensation both partners want
- Whether the material is non-porous and body-safe
- How the product must be cleaned
- Whether it is waterproof
- Whether it is compatible with the chosen lubricant
- Whether it has a flared base when intended for anal use
- How it will be stored privately
- Whether either partner can stop its use immediately
Never introduce a toy as a surprise during sexual activity. Discuss it first and obtain clear agreement.
Follow the manufacturer’s cleaning instructions. If a toy is shared between partners or moved between different parts of the body, wash it appropriately and use a new condom over it where suitable. Both the NHS and Planned Parenthood recommend cleaning shared toys and changing barriers between users.
Household objects are not necessarily safe substitutes. They may break, contain irritating materials or lack a base that prevents them from becoming difficult to remove.
Do New Positions Change Pregnancy or STI Risk?
Changing positions does not remove the possibility of pregnancy when sperm may enter the vagina. Upright positions, withdrawal and urinating or washing after sex are not dependable forms of contraception.
Most contraceptive methods do not protect against sexually transmitted infections. Condoms can help reduce both pregnancy and STI risks, although they do not eliminate every risk—particularly for infections transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.
Use a new condom for each act and replace it if it breaks, slips or is moved between different body areas. Discuss contraception, testing and exclusivity before experimentation rather than assuming a new position is somehow safer.
ActivHomme’s guide to safer sex provides more information about barriers and sexual-health planning.
Keep Adventure Private and Legal
The original article suggested sexual activity at parties, in bathrooms and in cars. These are poor recommendations.
Sexual activity in public or semi-public settings can:
- Expose other people without their consent
- Violate local indecency laws
- Create a risk of arrest or reputational harm
- Compromise privacy
- Introduce hygiene concerns
- Make it harder to communicate or stop safely
- Allow recording or observation without permission
- Place either partner in a vulnerable situation
A locked bathroom at another person’s event is not truly private. Neither is a parked car in a public location.
Couples can create novelty in a private, lawful environment by changing the lighting, music, time of day or arrangement of the room. Privacy allows both people to relax and communicate more freely.
Avoid Alcohol and Drugs When Exploring
Alcohol and other substances can impair balance, coordination and judgement. They may also make it harder to recognise pain, use protection correctly or communicate consent.
Trying an unfamiliar physical arrangement while significantly intoxicated increases the possibility of falls and injuries. Consent must also be freely and meaningfully given. If someone is too impaired to understand or communicate clearly, sexual activity should not proceed.
When a New Position Does Not Work
Not every experiment will be enjoyable. A position may look appealing but feel awkward because of differences in height, mobility, anatomy or personal preference.
A constructive response might be:
- “Can we change the angle?”
- “I need a pillow under my knee.”
- “This is uncomfortable—let’s try something else.”
- “Can we slow down?”
- “I would rather return to what we were doing before.”
- “I don’t think this position works for me.”
Avoid taking the change personally. Rejecting a position is not necessarily rejection of the partner.
Humour can make experimentation more comfortable, provided neither person is being mocked.
Variety Does Not Solve Relationship Problems
Trying new positions may bring temporary novelty, but it cannot repair broken trust, persistent resentment or a lack of emotional safety.
If intimacy has become difficult, consider whether the underlying issue involves:
- Unresolved conflict
- Pain
- Different levels of desire
- Exhaustion
- Body-image concerns
- Medication side effects
- Fear of pregnancy or infection
- Pressure to perform
- Feeling emotionally disconnected
- Previous unwanted experiences
An honest conversation may be more valuable than continuously searching for a new technique. ActivHomme’s explanation of the sexual response cycle discusses why desire and arousal naturally vary.
When to Consult a Healthcare Professional
Seek medical guidance when sexual activity causes:
- Persistent or recurring pain
- Unexpected bleeding
- Significant pelvic, genital or abdominal discomfort
- Numbness that does not resolve
- Difficulty with arousal or orgasm that causes distress
- Repeated loss of erection
- Pain following a fall or sudden movement
- Symptoms of an STI
- Possible pregnancy following contraceptive failure
A healthcare professional can assess physical causes without judging someone’s relationship or preferences.
A qualified therapist or sex therapist may help when the main concern involves communication, fear, incompatible expectations or persistent pressure.
The Bottom Line
Adventurous sex does not need to be public, dangerous or physically extreme. Variety can come from a different body angle, supportive pillows, a carefully selected toy, slower pacing or allowing one partner more control.
The best position is one that respects both people’s boundaries and bodies. Discuss the idea beforehand, use stable surfaces, choose suitable lubrication and protection, and stop when something feels painful or uncertain.
No technique guarantees pleasure or orgasm. Curiosity, consent and communication are more important than completing a complicated position.
For related guidance, read ActivHomme’s articles on experiencing orgasms, how intimacy affects the brain and the health benefits of sexual activity.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the easiest adventurous position for beginners?
A side-by-side arrangement or a familiar position adjusted with one firm pillow is often approachable. Both allow small changes without requiring considerable strength or flexibility.
Should a new position hurt at first?
No. Stop if you experience sharp, persistent or worsening pain. Adjusting the angle, adding support or changing positions is preferable to forcing the body through discomfort.
Can changing position prevent pregnancy?
No. Position, gravity, washing and urinating after sex are not reliable contraception. Use an appropriate contraceptive method when pregnancy is possible.
Do condoms still work in different positions?
Yes, provided they are suitable for the activity and used correctly from beginning to end. Check the condom if movement creates slipping or excessive friction.
Is it safe to use furniture for support?
Only use stable furniture capable of supporting the necessary weight. Avoid chairs with wheels, glass tables, unstable stools and elevated surfaces from which someone could fall.
How should couples introduce a sex toy?
Discuss the idea before sexual activity, agree on how it may be used and select a body-safe product together. Clean it according to the manufacturer’s instructions and use appropriate barriers when sharing.
What if my partner wants to try something that I dislike?
You can decline without defending your decision. A respectful partner may discuss preferences, but should not use pressure, guilt or repeated requests to change your answer.
